Monday, October 8, 2012

The new Company Policies!

Here I is: "Mr. Anil XYZ Malli" (67, Male, Tall, Dark and Handsome), Started his career as a trainee in the organization, 46 years back and now retiring as Senior Manager (taking home 25 lakes a year).

How Did it Started:
As I being the best employee entire career in the company, the Directors of the company called me to the Board of Director's meeting. Just to thank, whatever I have done for the company.

But before they said anything, I have put one proposal in front of them.

Give me some money and I will achieve all the targets of your next year, in next 6 months

What do you want from us? A sound came out of the Board.

I replied, One meeting where all your employees will be present, Except the board of directors, but they should be present the building where the meeting will occur.

The Meeting Day
I was standing in front of many employees , around table making a big circle, including the Sales and Development Team. (For the first time, my legs were shivering and my first voice came with hization [what I am going to do, is that right?] "Go...od mor..ning". I have never presented anything in-front)

Then I started, with: As you all know, This is my last day in the company, but I have taken some loan-money from the company and I am distributing this money among you people. This is my personal check-book, and I threw my check-book on the table. I have written name of all of you on these check, and some with the pictures also.

I picked up the check book and rolled it up (so individual check leaf can stand on the table). But I will give you this money, if you ....

The line that seperates
I tore one of the leaf from check-book and it had the name and his picture of Sales Team Head, I placed it on the table. Similarly I did for other 4 Sales person, with 1 lkh each. I drew a line on the table, and said, they will never interfere in any technology.

Then I made line of 5 Project Managers with 3 check each (as each was handling 3 projects in minimum), 50K each.

Then the line for 3 TLs (as each Project Manager has minimum 3 TLs under each), 33.333K each (Somehow make it 1lk).

And the last line for the 5 Developers (as each TL has 5 developers minimum in each project), 15K each.

Every-time you finish 1 project, you will be moved to a level up.

Then on the top, I made another line and I took 5 checks with pics of Board of Directors (Each have 5 Sales Head under them) and placed each, with amount 2 lks each.

Now the questions are:
1. How many Employees were there in the company?
2. How much money I have spent? What will be my profit, If I am earning 3 times what I am distributing?

Friday, October 5, 2012

I always wanted to be God :)

God. Does, when you need?
When you think?
When you don't expect?
When, was not needed? (I could have done it on my own)
Why they call me lucky? (He is with everybody, not only my friend. But was ... with the people, on the belief, when you ask ...)

I want to be God:

Be there when you least expected!
When you needed the most #@#$%&;
For, To, Be, One, Always, There, For ............. YOU

I have to call and expect you to say "LETS' MEET OVER WEEKEND", and I was the one always got busy, or something.
Think twice, because I have to pay from my pocket. I think twice to spend on me. I never thought, when it was you.

Forgot .... Forgot .....

Need something, which writes everything I think. And erase Which I don't want.

Can Computers be like that?

Was she really behind me?

I left my friends in anger. And just walked around the road. Dono when Road ended and I was in middle of the jungle.

And felt my friends are coming behind to take me back. I was able to hear the footsteps. They were walking with me.

Then I thought I am in noware, even if they search me they will go to Bus Stand, Railway Station or Air Port, why they will come this side of Jungle.

I read an News in the News Paper (generally I don't read news paper, but today morning there was nothing else to do) that a tigress has ran away from zoo.

Could it be her. She will be not be hungry, as she definitely has hunted something since yesterday and she will be full (this I saw on NGV, tigers eat once in 3 days).

So why is she walking behind me, if I turn around she will be scared. And either she will attack me or run away.

Secure for me, if some guy tries to rob me, she will attack her.

So we were walking.

Then I realized, I never saw it. So I tested her. I stopped, she did it too. I took my 1 leg in air and tested is she also get miss-balanced. She did.

Then Heard some roaring of some tigers, fighting over food. I started walking towards them, I dono why.

When I reached there, I saw 4 tigers. And they stepped back. And after that I found a bus on the road.

While in the bus, I saw those 4 tigers and a tigress, who is looking at me with 1 eye (and all other are looking at sky).......